{"id":2469,"date":"2017-01-18T12:24:05","date_gmt":"2017-01-18T10:24:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kortopsikoloji.com\/dergi\/?p=2469"},"modified":"2017-01-18T12:24:05","modified_gmt":"2017-01-18T10:24:05","slug":"aldatma-ya-da-aldatmama-iste-butun-mesele","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/aldatma-ya-da-aldatmama-iste-butun-mesele\/","title":{"rendered":"Aldatma ya da Aldatmama ! \u0130\u015fte b\u00fct\u00fcn mesele bu…"},"content":{"rendered":"

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Aldatma nedir yada hangi davran\u0131\u015flar aldatma say\u0131l\u0131r?<\/strong> Duygusal aldatma m\u0131, fiziksel aldatma m\u0131 daha \u00e7ok k\u0131rar? T\u00fcm bu sorular\u0131n cevab\u0131 her ili\u015fkinin kendine has dinamiklerinde sakl\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc her \u00e7iftin ili\u015fkisi bireylerin ailesi, ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131klar\u0131, ili\u015fki s\u00fcreleri, ya\u015flar\u0131, e\u011fitimleri, i\u015fleri, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma saatleri, bilgi birikimleri, ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 ortamlar, arkada\u015f \u00e7evreleri ve daha bir\u00e7ok \u00f6zellikleri, bir\u00e7ok de\u011fi\u015fkenle birlikte kendine has. Her sorun her ne kadar ayn\u0131 da olsa birbirinden bir o kadar farkl\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc tecr\u00fcbeler ve ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131klar farkl\u0131… \u0130\u015fte tam da bu sebeple standart kal\u0131p ve tan\u0131mlamalar do\u011fru olamayabiliyor.<\/p>\n

Her ili\u015fkinin kendi i\u00e7inde kendi has kurallar\u0131 var. Kimi ili\u015fkiler i\u00e7in hi\u00e7 \u00f6nemli olamayan s\u0131radan ayr\u0131nt\u0131lar, kimi ili\u015fkilerin kaderini belirleyebiliyor.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hangi Davran\u0131\u015flar Aldatma Say\u0131l\u0131r?<\/h2>\n

Kimi ili\u015fkilerde k\u0131z\/k\u0131za yada erkek\/erke\u011fe seyahatler, e\u011flenceler son derece ola\u011fan kar\u015f\u0131lan\u0131rken kimi ili\u015fkiler i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 a\u015fmak olabiliyor. \u0130\u015fte tam buna benzer olarak bazen e\u015fin telefonundaki bir mesaj aldatma olarak g\u00f6r\u00fclebilirken, bazen s\u0131radan oldu\u011fu bilinen bir \u00e7apk\u0131nl\u0131k g\u00f6z ard\u0131 edilebiliyor.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ift terapisti olarak bana en \u00e7ok gelen sorulardan bir tanesi \u201cSize gelen \u00e7iftler ne sorunlarla geliyor? Eminim \u00e7ok ilgin\u00e7 hikayeleriniz vard\u0131r.<\/strong>\u201d oluyor.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konu \u015fu ki toplumda bu s\u0131n\u0131rlar toplumsal kabul edilebilirlik s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 i\u00e7erisinde konu\u015fuluyor ve aldatma denildi\u011finde herkes i\u00e7in ayn\u0131 \u015feyin ifade edildi\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcl\u00fcyor fakat ger\u00e7ek bundan daha farkl\u0131. Her \u00e7iftin kendine has ilgin\u00e7 g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc yanlar\u0131 ve zay\u0131fl\u0131klar\u0131 var. Her hikaye kendi i\u00e7erisinde \u00e7ok ilgin\u00e7 ve ili\u015fkiler aile yada\u00a0arkada\u015f ortamlar\u0131nda konu\u015fuldu\u011fundan, aile yada\u00a0arkada\u015flarla payla\u015f\u0131labilenlerden\u00a0\u00e7ok daha derin ve bir\u00e7ok noktada (\u015fayet ilgin\u00e7 buna deniyor ise) ayk\u0131r\u0131…<\/p>\n

\u201cHerkesin hikayesinin s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 yine kendi ger\u00e7ekli\u011fi i\u00e7inde \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli oluyor. Aldatma her ne s\u0131n\u0131rlar i\u00e7erisinde olursa olsun aldatma olarak adland\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yorsa bir ili\u015fki i\u00e7erisinde can ac\u0131t\u0131yor.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Her \u0130li\u015fki Yap\u0131s\u0131nda Aldatman\u0131n Tan\u0131m\u0131 Farkl\u0131 Olabilir<\/h2>\n

Aldatma denildi\u011fi zaman\u00a0her ili\u015fkinin kendi kurallar\u0131na sayg\u0131 duyulmas\u0131 gerekiyor. \u0130li\u015fkideki aldatma\u00a0yine o ili\u015fkinin ger\u00e7ekli\u011finde, o davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n yada davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n anlam\u0131 ba\u011flam\u0131nda de\u011ferlendiriliyor. Bazen ili\u015fkinin ba\u015f\u0131ndan itibaren cinsel \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck alanlar\u0131 tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bir ki\u015finin sevgilisine\/e\u015fine kar\u015f\u0131 olan duygusal ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131n azalmas\u0131 s\u00fcrecinde s\u00fcrecin aldatma olarak kabul edilmesini, bazen bir i\u015f arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n gece att\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u201cNas\u0131ls\u0131n?\u201d mesaj\u0131n\u0131, bazense bir arkada\u015f ortam\u0131ndaki bir bak\u0131\u015f\u00a0\u00e7ok benzer depremler yaratabiliyor.<\/p>\n

E\u011fer \u00e7ift o konuyu aldatma olarak getiriyorsa mutlaka orada \u00e7iftlerden birinin can\u0131n\u0131 ac\u0131tan \u00f6nemli bir durum oluyor. Konunun k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck yada b\u00fcy\u00fck olmas\u0131 \u00f6nemsizle\u015fiyor. Hepsi e\u015fit derecede \u00f6nem kazan\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

Halk aras\u0131nda kad\u0131nlar\u0131n ve erkeklerin farkl\u0131 nedenlerle aldatt\u0131\u011f\u0131na dair inan\u0131\u015flar var. Asl\u0131nda durum \u00e7o\u011fu zaman iki cinsiyet i\u00e7in de ayn\u0131 oluyor.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Aldatma ve \u00c7ift Terapisi<\/h2>\n

Terapide kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z sistemler teoremi ve sistemik bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 ili\u015fki i\u00e7erisinde kar\u015f\u0131lanamayan ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n bir semptomu olarak aldatman\u0131n ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steriyor. Daha basit bir dille ili\u015fkide kar\u015f\u0131lanamayan ihtiya\u00e7lar bir s\u00fcre sonra d\u0131\u015far\u0131da aranmaya ba\u015flan\u0131yor.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c7iftler ili\u015fki i\u00e7erisinde kendilerinin ve e\u015flerinin duygusal yada fiziksel ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131\u00a0kar\u015f\u0131lamaya g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc olmas\u0131na ve bunu kar\u015f\u0131layacak kapasitede, iradede, \u00f6zveride olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen, bu \u00e7aba oklar\u0131 do\u011fru hedeflere\u00a0isabet etmeyebiliyor. S\u00fcre\u00e7 i\u00e7inde s\u00fcrekli beklenti i\u00e7inde olunan ve bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc kar\u015f\u0131lanamayan ihtiya\u00e7lar iki taraf i\u00e7in de ba\u015fka bir kayna\u011fa y\u00f6nelme ile sonu\u00e7lanabiliyor.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ift Terapisi \u0130\u015fe Yarar M\u0131?<\/h2>\n

\u00c7ift terapisi bu \u00e7aba oklar\u0131n\u0131n do\u011fru hedeflere ula\u015fmas\u0131 noktas\u0131nda faydal\u0131 oluyor. Bir ili\u015fki semptomu olarak ortaya \u00e7\u0131kan ve ili\u015fkideki stresi azaltma amac\u0131yla yap\u0131lan d\u0131\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn sonu\u00e7lar\u0131, ili\u015fkide daha \u00e7ok stres ve daha zorlu ko\u015fullar olarak \u00e7ifte geri d\u00f6n\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n

\u201cALDATMANIN TANIMI HER NE OLURSA OLSUN DO\u011eRU Y\u00d6NET\u0130L\u0130RSE \u0130L\u0130\u015eK\u0130N\u0130N ESK\u0130S\u0130NDEN \u00c7OK DAHA G\u00dc\u00c7L\u00dc OLMASINI SA\u011eLIYOR….\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

E\u011fer bir benzetme yaparsak aldatman\u0131n ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131 ile beraber ili\u015fkide a\u011f\u0131r bir k\u0131\u015f iklimi h\u00fck\u00fcm s\u00fcrmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor.\u00a0<\/strong>Aldatma \u00f6ncesinde yeterince \u00f6nemli oldu\u011fu fark edilemeyen yada bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc de\u011fi\u015fim g\u00f6stermeyen durumlar\u0131n de\u011fi\u015fmesi i\u00e7in f\u0131rsatlar do\u011fuyor. Kara k\u0131\u015f ortam\u0131 ili\u015fki i\u00e7indekilerin duygusal beslenimlerini zorla\u015ft\u0131rsa da bu iklimden \u00e7\u0131kmay\u0131 ba\u015faran \u00e7iftler sonras\u0131ndaki f\u0131rt\u0131nalarda ve hatta kas\u0131rgalarda da nas\u0131l sa\u011flam durabileceklerini yada bu iliklimden nas\u0131l korunabileceklerini \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f oluyorlar.<\/p>\n

Ve evet; KI\u015eLAR NE KADAR KARA OLURSA OLSUN Y\u0130NE DE EL ELE ATLATILAB\u0130L\u0130N\u0130YOR!<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Aldatmak herkes i\u00e7in ayn\u0131 m\u0131d\u0131r? Yoksa ki\u015fiden ki\u015fiye de\u011fi\u015fir mi? Bir \u00e7ift terapisinin g\u00f6z\u00fcnden aldatma sonras\u0131nda \u00e7ift terapisi s\u00fcreci nas\u0131l olur?<\/p>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":5581,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[202,614,229,362,277,97,205,82],"class_list":["post-2469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cift-iliski-evlilik-psikolojisi","tag-aldatma","tag-aldatma-sonrasi-iliski","tag-anadolu-yakasi-psikolog","tag-anadolu-yakasi-psikolojik-danismanlik","tag-cift-terapisi","tag-iliski","tag-iliskilerde-aldatma","tag-psikoloji"],"blocksy_meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2469\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korto.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}